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Thursday, July 24, 2014

Body Talks...

I find today's post so appropriate and it just called out to me.

Today I am linking up with Amber from Mr. Thomas and Me and Juliette from The Other Juliette.

These ladies are co-hosting a link up talking all things body...


I know that this may sound weird - as I am almost 9 months pregnant - but body issues have always been there for me.

I have been saying for a couple of weeks how I was going to talk about the weight I've gained with Baby Hughes and have yet to do so.  When I heard about their link-up I knew it was the perfect opportunity.

So let's start with where I am currently.

Currently I am almost 9 months pregnant.  I am currently gaining weight daily and there is nothing I can do about it.  I am the highest number I have ever seen on a scale and that scares the bejeebees out of me.  I am also, completely okay with it all in the end.

Let's go back a few years now...

Growing up I was a dancer.  I was a ballerina.  Now I was never amazing or anything spectacular but I did hope that one day I could be something with this passion of mine.  I quickly realized that that wouldn't ever happen.  I was five foot nothing at the age of 12 and done growing...well vertically anyways.

I have never been a twig and throughout my teenage years this was difficult for me to deal with.  I never had an eating disorder or anything like that, but I can see how kids could.  I was often sad and upset about my weight or the way that my weight sat on my hips and tummy.

Let's fast forward to being 19 years old.  I was probably the skinniest I have ever been.  I was still not happy with my number on the scale but I was thin.  This wasn't from being super active and eating right...I was up at all hours and partying.

So when I was 20 I met this amazing man...the hubs.  He made me happy.  Happier than I had ever been.  He loved me regardless of what I weighed and that was all that mattered.  Well when you are happy in life you tend to gain weight, right? So there I was up 20 pounds now that I was happy.

Life continued and we were fine.  I maintained by additional 20 pounds and then we got married.  37 days after our wedding day Ryan deployed.  I was determined to lose weight while he was gone.  I did.  I lost 18 pounds and was ready to start out lives after deployment and get ready for a family.

Ryan got home from deployment, we had our big wedding and we started trying for a family.  3 months later our dreams came true and I was expecting our first child.

My first prenatal appointment they weighed me and I was devastated.  Devastated with the number I saw.  How could this number be right?  And I have to gain more weight over the next 9 months???  Our appointment wasn't with my normal lady doctor and so when this stranger told me that my BMI was high and she only wanted me to gain 11 pounds over the course of this pregnancy I was defeated.

How could I only gain 11 pounds over the next 9-10 months?  Some women gain well over 50 pounds!!  I felt as though I could gain 11 pounds by just looking at Christmas Dinner.

So the body image issues were once again starting, but this time I was pregnant and growing a human inside of me.  How could I keep this baby healthy without me gaining more than 11 pounds??  That doctor pissed me off.  I wanted to scream and cry all at the same time.

So fast forward to seeing my actual doctor and she told me that I should gain between 25-30 pounds over the next 9-10 months.  I was relieved, but also wanting to stay as low on the scale as possible.

Each doctors appointment I dreaded getting weighed and fearful that I would gain too much weight too fast or before it was scheduled.

So now I am 35 weeks pregnant and have gained 25 pounds.  I have come to the mental conclusion that I am fine with it.  You know why?  Because it is all for my baby.  My baby needs me to maintain a healthy diet so that he can grow big and strong.  He needs me to not worry about these next 5 weeks and not going over 30 pounds gained.

I know that I have done everything right for the most part throughout this pregnancy and I know that whatever my ending number is will be fine.  I know that I will work my butt off after he is born to get back down to my pre-pregnancy weight.

I know that I have a husband who loves me and supports me no matter what.  I know that with his love and support I will lose this baby weight and potentially some more.

Bottom line?  I don't think that doctors should put weight limits on pregnant women.  I understand encouraging healthy diets and whatnot, but to say that at 8 weeks pregnant I was "OBESE" is freaking absurd!

I hope that you all take an extra second to think about this when or if you have a baby.  You have the will and motivation to gain as much or little as you want.  You will be able to get rid of that baby weight if you want to.

Thank you Amber and Juliette for talking about a subject that is often so ignored and brushed under the rug.  I hope all you girls remember that you are beautiful no matter what your body looks like and that if you have the confidence no one will notice a number on the scale.

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2 comments:

  1. I'm so happy that you have come to terms with loving yourself how you are and how you have changed. You have so much love in your life. Numbers are numbers but love can't be compared.

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  2. Um, 11 pounds?!?! But a baby can easier weigh 8 when it's born! :)

    Girl you look adorable. And I think that it's amazing the way we can perceive ourselves versus others without awareness of the fact that we're all made in different shapes and sizes... Something that media and culture don't necessarily tell us. :)

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